Here I Stand and There I Go

Lately, I've been thinking about what matters in life, and what I really want. I haven't done any in-depth soul searching as of now, but I've been thinking a lot. Simple as I am, I think I want to amount to a lot of things, and I definitely want to achieve lots of things. But I think that they're small things, more like detailed simplicity. That's a beautiful oxymoron then.

I want powerful friendships. I've mentioned this before with the stronger bonds, but I just can't stress it enough. I want people to matter to me and I want to matter to them so badly. I want to get out there and just hang out with my friends instead of have to be indoors all day working and whatnot. I want to enjoy this life. Time is simply moving too quickly, the semester is nearly over now, and I know that AP is going to make this next half just zoom on by. But I say nay! (I know, old word). I won't let AP rob me of my fun, I will enjoy all the time I have to enjoy.

As time goes on, I want to become more aware of all that I have and all that I have left. I know when high school ends, I lose people. And that saddens me, so I say we enjoy it all as much as freaking possible. Which leads to me to my next points. In the next half of high school, I want to get involved and be in there. In exactly what high school is. More than just little crushes, ,more than just a class, more than just staying up late. The all nighters, the heart break, the drama, the exams, the AP whirlwhind. Journalism and whatnot. Yearbook? Clubs! Bring it all in, I feel like taking them all on. I want to make it fun, and do as much as possible.

College? Will I go far away? Or will Kuya Vincent drive me with him to UCLA everyday? Maybe I'll major in... something to do with science? Not sure. I don't want to major in English, it seems like a complicated pain. And creativity knows no bounds or legalities, I can get published without a degree. What to publish first. Not sure. Fantasy, wow that field is so crowded already! And I want my debut work to establish something, so I might finish A Whole Lot of Good and put that one first. The time to finish that is now, I want to work on as much as I can and finish it this year. I wonder if I can? Well, the year just started, so there's another goal!

As life goes on, I don't know where it will wind and take me. Who know what'll happen? Maybe it'll be like Alyssa says and I'll end up getting married to some really really asian guy and have a complicated last name. :] Lendle has me wedding themed, ever since we started trying to figure out what colors would be good. I said dark blue or indigo dresses and the bridesmaid would be Camille. We planned debuts,too, but weddings were more fun aha. Then I'd want to adopt probably, because it's sad how there are so many adults and yet it never seems to be enough to care for every child in this world. I don't know, maybe I'd adopt 3. Then they would go to a private school while I wrote novels and saved the earth and then I could pick them up and take them to piano practice or basketball practice or home or wherever they pleased. They could be little genuises that would change the world some day. I'd take them to St. Martha's choir and St. Lorenzo's youth groups

And their godparents would be my best friends in the entire universe :Camille, Theresa, and Caitlin :] And the four of us would still be friends and we'd always be there for each other when life gives us the real drama, not the just high school status, but real life drama. And we'll get through it.
And that'll be life.