Bye Bye Michael.

This is it, the last of my goodbyes for 2008.

I guess,it all crumbled when I met him, on my birthday of all times. At first, it was a good thing. I was finally speaking to the guy that I liked and doing fine. The Liezl thing happened, but I didn't tell him, even though he was the crux of why she acted as such. He noticed the difference and asked me about her, but I would always shrug it off and pretend to not notice what he was talking about.

Time went on, and he texted me...a lot. He really knew how to toy with a girl, like he was a professional. The things that he said really blinded me, and I almost fell for everything. He sang to me. He called me all the time just to check in on me. He made me eat if I wasn't. He kept buying me food. He walked with me. He gave me his jacket to wear when it got cold. He had me hold onto his phone sometimes. He sat with me. He joked around with me. He spun my mind in circles.

I came very close to falling for it, with all the things that he said. And all the conversations he had with my close friends just about me. He kept me confused when he said things like "I don't know why, but the more I hear about you, the more I want to know you..." and such. I came so close to almost falling head over heels. But I didn't, because I knew I had to think it through.

I couldn't find any flaws in him, no matter how hard I looked. As odd as it it is to look for the flaws in a guy, that's what I did. Because I didn't want him to seem perfect. I knew that as long as he seemed perfect, then I wasn't seeing the whole picture clearly. If he was perfect, then I wasn't seeing him for who he really was. And there was no way that I was going to get with someone that I didn't see clearly. I didn't want to get with perfection, I wanted to find the reality.

So I searched for it. Only thing I came up with was that he was such a flirt with every girl around him. But my friends said that it was different when he spoke to me, and told me to overlook it. Besides, they reasoned, I had found a flaw, didn't I?
But it must have been the flaw, because now I wanted to cope with it before jumping into a relationship. And while I tried to do so, he drifted away. He just stopped showing up at the table and he stopped texting and calling and walking and singing. He left.

It was hard to cope with at first, we were like best friends, too. And whenever I saw him while I was walking, it made me so happy to walk with him for a bit. I would literally go out of my way to pass areas where I knew he would be, just to see him. I was pathetic.

Now, I hear he has a girlfriend. Ironically, it was a girl who was my buddy in grade school. A buddy of mine and Liezl's. Irony: We nurtured her as a kid, and she goes and gets with the guy that Liezl fought with me for. Ah well, the news upset me for a bit. But I am fine now. The girlfriend does give me some rudeness, but whatever. I don't know how she knows about me, maybe he told her, but then again, I don't care about it anymore.

He's gone, and that's all right with me. I hope he stays gone, as mean as that sounds. It's another area in my life where I must move on. I don't need some player in my life, I don't deserve to be fooled with, at the least. So, my head is held up and that's all that there is to it. I have good friends beside me now, the bad ones got weeded out in 2008. 2009 is a new year and it will be awesome. As Camille says, "This year, the drama will be dealt with, and it will be dealt with quickly."
All I can say is, "At least if there is drama, it'll be new drama."

I've grown up a lot these past few months, and it was due to bad experiences. But they made me stronger. I'm a little more ready now. 2009 here I come.