Farewell Liezl.

Liezl is forgiven and Michael is forgotten.
Such is life, people must leave and those left behind must move on.
I'm done with these two, they marked my 2008 and made it what it was.I don't want to say that the year was bad or even the worst, but I've never dealt with drama before in my life until these two brought it up. Not that I'm bitter, but I just feel that figuring it out will help me with the process of moving on.
This one is about Liezl...
The Set-up. I was Liezl's best friend for a long while. Of course, friends since first grade, best friends in sixth. Looking back on it, it was a bad omen from the start. We got closer when she got me in trouble and had to pay the consequences for a month together. And then, we were best friends. After getting in trouble! I'd never been in trouble before, had I not fallen in with her. *sigh*
I've often wondered if she was truly a best friend, or one that I was just always with. I couldn't talk about my family problems with her, because she always shrugged it off for her childish ventures. She did, and so I got used to keeping it all inside me and not telling people. And, when we were friends, it was like I didn't really have any other. I would only hang out with her, talk to her, comment her, call her, text only her. Mornings, we would both arrive at 7 and walk all morning, just the two of us. It was like I was isolated in a bubble.

The Sacrifice. I did everything that I possibly could for her. EVERYTHING to make her life easier. I didn't want her to fail and I didn't want her to be unhappy, ever. So I gave up my time and let my mother be upset with me being up so late on the phone with her. And why was I on the phone with her? Because she wasn't sleepy yet and didn't want to be bored. So, I would force myself to stay up for hours just to keep her company. I would never answer incoming calls from anyone else, because she would be alone. And I always always asked to be driven to her home all the way in Chino Hills, because she didn't want to be bored at home. My parents would oblige to driving from Walnut to Chino Hills because they loved me.

The Fall.And then, she let a petty little thing blind her. She knew I liked him, and she went after him despite. I never believed in all those silly movies and shows about two best friends fighting for a guy, because I didn't think it would ever occur to me in my reality. But it did. On my birthday, my other friend and I went up to talk to him and he was very kind and funny. She left me to speak with him, something I'd never done before. It was fine, I was talking to someone I liked and not being shy. And then Liezl came to us. She sauntered over to the two of us, standing in the sun in the middle of nowhere by the lunch tables. And then she started speaking to him and pushing me out. Literally, I recall feeling her shoulder cutting me off and moving me towards the wall, so that only she could speak to him. She literally had him cornered, so that I couldn't get to him. But I wasn't angry. I loved her and didn't think wrongly of her. I thought that she was just being friendly to him and so I left.

The next day, she made him walk with her all day everywhere. I did not even get to speak to her that day, for she was gone. Everyone told me that what she was doing was wrong, because she knew that I was the one who liked him first. But I didn't see it that way, she was just being friendly, in my eyes. And then it was my party that weekend, for my birthday. She came last, which was odd. She asked to use my phone, since hers had broken. Of course I obliged, she was my best friend! She said she would call her father, and then went outside. How odd, she never went out before. ut I did not mind. She did so several times, to call her father and I never objected. And then it rang while in my hands, a foreign number, I answered. It was him.I almost cried when I heard his voice, because he was looking for Liezl. She had been calling him the whole time, she'd lied. In my emotional stupor, Liezl realized what had occured and ran to me. She grabbed my cell phone from my hands and then ran. Time became a daze after that, as I tried to come to grips with reality. And then she returned, not looking me in the eyes, and told me that if my phone rang, then give it to her. I told her Michael wasn't calling back, and she denied it and ran off. If Camille and Theresa had not hidden my phone, I would have broken into tears. They knew exactly what she had done, without a word.

School that week after, we pretended to be all right, but Liezl and I never walked together again. So I messaged her, because I couldn't take it. I cried whenever I was home and my mother found out about it and it was an ugly mess. People kept asking me what happened because they knew that she had done something wrong, but I wouldn't admit it. I couldn't call her, I couldn't face her. And so like a coward, I messaged her.It was long, but all I said was that I wouldn't mind what she did, so long as she helped me understand why she did what she did. But she changed things around and turned it out into an all out war over a boy, something I never mentioned. Her replies got uglier and uglier, and then she said very insulting things, that I wouldn't expect. The one I held most dear said the words I felt most hateful. I cried over those replies.

And then,we no longer talked at school.It was like she wasn't there, or I wasn't there. We were never in the same group ever again, and everyone knew she had done wrong. But I did not want that. And yet, her group diminished and I was never seen near her again. She stopped coming early, and I continued it. If we crossed in the halls, she would pretend to look in her bag, and I would pretend to look in my book until we passed. The first time, I did look back at her when we passed, but she continued on. It was apparent that I was moping over my loss, but then I saw that she was completely fine. And so, I learned that she did not need me as much as I thought.

I did worry over her still. She got pale, and I worried and asked the only 3 friends she had what was wrong. They did not know and it angered me. If I had been there, I would have known. I would have taken better care of her. I laid out a mental list of things for them to do: make sure she studies, trick her into eating in the morning like so, walk with her, make sure she leaves early enough to not be late, make sure she doesn't leave her book like always, memorize her schedule so if she forgets, make sure she was the right binder to go with her class, keep her occupied at home or she'll hurt herself, always check her wrists, make sure she is safe. When she got sick, it worried me to the brink of insanity. But I had to let go, because she didn't need me, she didn't want to need me. So I forgot, it was hard, but I managed to do so. Despite every fiber of my being.

It's over now. I don't worry about her, and it's not like every thought it geared towards her anymore. I have forgotten, for the most part. I'm not angry, just sad. As much as I have forgiven her in my heart, if she asked her forgiveness, I don't know what I'd say. Eventually,maybe. I'm sad that I lost her, but it's all right now. Because Camille, Theresa, and Caitlin saved me. When she let go, they didn't let me fall. I would have left them at the tables if they didn't save me. I would've been a library recluse if they didn't catch me. I love them.

Whether or not she sees this is irrelevant to me. It was a post for me to find myself and realize where I stand now. It's over, she and I aren't friends anymore. We probably never will be. Years from now, I might run into her, and just keep walking. That's the story. Her chapter in my life is over, and I'm bringing that part to a close. She won't reappear as a character anymore, and she doesn't get a saga. That's that. Goodbye, Liezl Francisco. It was a fun time, but that's all it was. Now that it's over, I wish you well.