Crash

[Note: This one is also about my day, but it's got some analysis into it as well]

I think that I've done more than enough. This morning, I awoke at a late hour to my sister yelling her lungs out for me to wake up from downstairs. My throat is sore and I can't breathe through a stuffy nose. Upon going to the bathroom mirror, I find blood in places on my shirt and find out that my nose had bled last night and I didn't know. So, for about 20 minutes, I fix myself. Making sure that I can breathe since it took forever. Then I took a shower. Then went downstairs to my sister and grandmother. Then my parents got home and saw me tired so they made me go back upstairs to rest.

My nose started bleeding like insanity, and so I wasn't able to rest for about an hour, it was long. And then I just lay on my side while my sister turned on the TV and music loud! Couldn't rest until my mother drove her out. And from 1 to 5 I just drifted on and off in my napping. It was an odd sensation, watching the sun in the window whenever I woke up, but knowing that it was getting later and later all the while.

I don't know why,but I feel so tired. And detached, like I can't really feel much.
I'm not light headed and definitely not well rested, maybe just rested too much. But either way, I can't feel, and it is incredibly hot here. No, I don't have a fever.

Perhaps it's from having been working so hard. But no, that's impossible. I'm a lucky one. Midnight as a bedtime is fine compared to the others who sleep at 4 and still don't get straight A's right? I don't know why my capacity is so small, while others can take so much more and be fine. I don't understand how I can be so weak.

In this world, the weak people are left behind. There are very few strong ones who look back to carry them on. I don't want to be left behind, because I don't know of anyone strong enough to turn around and carry me on along with the rest of their burdens. To do so would be shameless. I need to get stronger somehow. My health shouldn't be faltering like this.