The Reason

At a loss for everything, everything but words. Words, useless in the face of a wall. An invisible wall, looming above me...immovable. That's where it starts. That's where it all falls apart. That's the corner of the universe tucked away from the eyes of everyone else. But everyone knows what I do. Your mind, your heart, your soul: all hidden. My heart, my mind, my soul : all lucid. All obviously wrecked and almost broken to beyond repair. The world's eye rests solely on me, ready to prod me back into place with pressure. But my place, that is not mine. The place I am thrust back into is what the world sees as fitting. This world has no idea what it does to  a soul. What it does to break it, with the lengths that are taken. Society needs to but out of personal business and focus on overcoming its own hatred. Its the hatred that causes all the other problems :violence, racism, and suicides. 

"Even if the words I want to say are so simple and probably useless, meaningless. Well not entirely meaningless. As long as I can alleviate the weight of regrets and mistakes I've done. As long as I can mend broken ribbons between two people, tie them again so they're stronger than what it was before. Then, and only then will my mind be at rest. I don't believe it's too late to do anything to fix it. I believe in second chances, and maybe third & fourth chances." -Nicole Punsalang. 

She's so correct. I almost teared up when I read this. Finally, someone that fully understood my reasons, someone that voiced them. Finally, a glimmer of hope in a sea of darkness.

Who knows why we choose the ones we love? -I Can't Say Goodbye to You, by Helen Reddy 

Truly, who knows why we forgive the ones we seek?