Blighted

Looking back, this journey of mine hurt.

Ha, as immature as one may find that, I have no other way to word it.

But I must admit defeat, I'm afraid. The end of this fruitless venture seems to have come at hand. And no, it's not that I no longer have the willpower, for truly, I do. Just that, I've exhausted each and every one of my resources, unfortunately. 

Fortune, what an evasive thing. Then again, can't call it fickle if it has always eluded you from the get go, can you?

Well, who is going to help me? It's useless to try. For one such as me, I've always been heavily dependent upon others for help. I know that. It may seem startling, as to what everything my family has always told me otherwise('Never, never trust anyone too much; to give your heart out is fatal and it'll be your downfall'). But when it comes to dealing with others, I know I can't do it and seek aid immediately. Well, not this time. No one here is on my side. Everyone, every single person is against me seeking to fix this. And I know exactly why. They have my well-being at best interest. But at what cost? To hate and nothing more. I have a wall around me

Another, I have no opportunities being given me. Immovable heart on the side of opposition gives me no leeway whatsoever. I can't try to mend things if I am not being allowed it, can I?

I'm being hindered on all sides.

And so, a restless soul is not allowed to seek its repentance necessary for peace.