I should have never said what I said

I should have never did what I did

If I had known that in the end it would come to this 

and all I can think now is 'damn, we messed up'

but it's too late for realization to kick in

because you've already high tailed it out of here

and left me right by the side of the road

coughing up the dust left in your wake

and all I can do now is think 

'i hope you're journey forward is blessed and safe'

while i trudge along the road

hoping to find a ride, a kind hand

a someone to pick me up in my disheveled state

to pick me up and save me from abandonment

but it's all up to me if i want to

cuz i know that the 2nd time around is harder

but no use moping around like  a sad puppy

cuz there are no more bones to be thrown to me

and the collar on me is a short one

attached to a lone string of despair

and i know it won't let loose anytime soon

so let this depression sink deeper

until i'm surrounded to the neck

and let it creep higher

until i'm drowning in a flood of emotion

and can't even struggle to get out

only then will i fully feel what i did

and think to this whole cruel world full of mislead hearts

that all my efforts were wasted...wasted...wasted