Second Chances

As promised, I guarantee each and every one of you that I am going to complicate your lives some day. Whether it's now or later. Remember these days with me, it'll probably get you later. I'm incredibly difficult! *sigh*

Right, well this blog...unknown territory, not the sort of things that go through my mind. But I am so befuddled that I need to...sorry, guys.

I know I told him just friends, over and over...and didn't mean it. But that's all that came to me when I knew that I wasn't sure of what I wanted and that I didn't want to hurt him later. So I told him 'just friends.' But that's been bugging me ever since I said it because I know that I didn't mean it 100% percent. I just really didn't want him to deal with me changing my mind every week or so. Well, I straightened it out with myself, especially what with Rod's talks. 

Of course, we're like best friends, so Chris and I text randomly like nothing. I had no idea how to say what I wanted to say. Rod, you're going to tell me 'I have a way with words' and I might, but no idea how to start them sometimes. so, I tried little hints but wow, his friends weren't kidding when they said Chris doesn't pick up things. Then he thought I was apologizing for having to say 'just friends'. So I straight up said it and he thought I wasn't serious, I think. Of course, I admitted I was late. It's been almost 2 months since he told me, 3 months or more since I've know that from someone else. And now, just now and only now, I figure it out.

I replied after he asked if I still liked him, but he never responded! Well, that was at 12 and he normally sleeps at 10ish and he had a license test the next day, so that's that. What a cliffhanger to not respond at though. I'm not texting first today. I don't know. After that, Rodrigo and I were on the phone until 12ish to wish Carmela a Happy 16th birthday. Do it if you guys haven't yet, by the way. <3

I just spent the next hour and a half after that texting Danzel and Theresa about it and their stories,too. Is this just a bunch of short stories strung together and called 'Life'? Hmm..

A few thanks are in order, of course :

@Cruz : For keeping me in the loop and texting me and listening and telling me your stuff,too

@Danzel: For never sleeping before I do so that I can fill you in and hear a guy's point of view that won't sugarcoat anything for my own good. And for being a good friend, whether or not you try! aha

@SBFF: For saying 'awwhhh' as soon as I picked up the phone and then after everything else I said and for just being the one who was roflmao the whole time. And for pointing out how nervous I was

@Jay : For being interested at 12ish in the morning but letting me tell you the next day since we are both sleep deprived

@LB: For always being open to listen to me :)

@Nicole : For always commenting my posts with insightful words that really do get me through the day <3