Lazy Summer Days

I haven't been online with the laptop in a bit, so here's a post of my days after a while. Yesterday, last night, I truly felt alive. I don't know what it was, but for once after a very long while, I felt normal. We spent the afternoon into the evening at Wilson's house for his mother's birthday. When the kids, Wilson included, started running around in the street playing freeze tag, I sat on the sidewalk texting Chris and on the phone with Camille. It got darker, things went on that way, and it was nice. Lately, I've been very sad but I couldn't pinpoint why. Ever since Camille lent me 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and I finished it, my mood changed. I don't think it was because of the book itself, but I've just been a little sad and out of it. It's weird, that feeling of knowing so many; loving so many, being loved by many; and yet still loneliness. Just those little instances where you feel that you don't have anyone to talk to, anyone to have listen. Of course, it could just be me.

Wilson sat with me next to the curb when it got a little darker and the little kids kept on playing around. We just talked about how things used to be and how we're getting older. We talked about Liezl to, about how she didn't hear his pleas on my behalf. But it's enough for me now. I like my life the way that it is now, it's different. It isn't one-sided anymore, and I have so many people looking out for me. I like what Wilson said,too "You don't need a 'friend' that isn't looking out for your well-being." He's absolutely right, that's something I learned after a very slow, painful process. He's absolutely right and it took me long enough to learn it.

Just sitting on the sidewalk talking to my best friend really made me feel better. That's what life is about isn't it? Talking to the ones that are close you: whether it's your best friend on a sidewalk as evening falls to texting those that care about you. That's normal enough, isn't it? Maybe a dose of normalacy is exactly what I've been looking for. Well, that and a few good books for me to read. Something just really thought-provoking. Does anyone have anything good that they can lend me for a week? Promises. You lend it to me and I will read it and return it ASAP. I just want something new to wrap my mind around and forget the world that I'm in for a bit. I just really want to soak in some new philosophy, a new take on life that I can take out of that world and bring into mine. 

P.S: I'm working on a different novel this time and the working title is True Faith. It's in modern times, which is something that I've never attempted before since I don't trust my grasp of the contemporary. Literature for these days is so dry. There are no metaphors or other devices pleasing to the mind. Nothing but gutter descriptions and course dialogue. Where's the beauty? Someone show me the beauty in the words themselves and not the plot of some lovesick fool that doesn't know how to woo properly. Good gosh!

P.P.S: IB, farewell? Should I bid farewell to something I was never a part of? Perhaps! Apparently, I don't think I was ever scheduled into IB due to my late registration. If that is the case, well I hope the door won't hit me on the way out! I do fancy AP again, all the way. But I will have wasted my time on the accursed assignments and will need to do the AP ones ASAP. Best to call in before schedules are assembled, yes? Yes.

I think the best cure for loneliness is people. Isn't that obvious? Yes,yes it is. You're absolutely right. 

(Do excuse the grammar, please)