Take It All Back...or Leave it?

What if there was one thing I could do to make it all better? What if there was one word that I could utter that would make you forget it all?

What I don't know is, how far would I go again to fix that broken bond. The tatters in the wind that I sometimes feel brush across my face cut like daggers across my soul. 

I'm terribly sorry.

 That one phrase echoes in that dome of my mind, over and over. The thoughts swirling in it all buffer that one epithet, but it never amounts to anything. It never reaches you.

You don't want to hear it. I know that.

I don't even feel like I need to say it, or at the very least, should be the only one to say it.

But I am.

I've heard it's all fruitless and worthless. Maybe they're right and it is.

But even though, I still feel the need to say it over and over and over. That's the only thing I can cling on to now. So even if it isn't my fault that we aren't best friends anymore, well, I'll say it again and again. It'll be my mantra now, my mantra of existence. Without those words, I can not fathom how to keep going on like this.

Everything is dull now. The wounds don't hurt me as much, and the salt poured on them once in a while is no longer as potent as before. I hurt, but not as much. 

I think that all the time has shown me nothing, how foolish. I'm being incredibly foolish without your presence. Foolish. Reckless. Careless.

What to do...what to do...