Must You All Return?

All at once, you all fly back to me. Not just my mind now, but my life as well. This reality has shattered. It's broken and what do you all ask of me? A piece of my heart. A piece of my strength. There's hardly any left. Must you continue to tear it to shreds? Must you take it all away? Haven't you all taken enough? No more!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!
Why do you come and bring it all back now?
I was so strong and then I slipped and I was going to get back up. And then he comes back and starts to open everything again. It was hard enough. No more.
I can't deal with this, not now.
I need to study. I need to go away.
I need it all to go away. Please.
On this night, is it supposed to be irony? The eve of her birthday it all shatters.I had it so well. Liezl, you were there. It fell. I shattered. I was broken for so long. I healed. I was getting there. I shattered again. I was healing. I was sinking. And he returns. And it all falls apart again. He brings it all back to me directly. And I can't get away from it now. No way to. And i can't understand why it's all come back to me.
It's....terrible