I'm Not Clinging to You...

...maybe just the memory.
They're all still so vivid in my mind, it comes back so easily. I can recall it all as if they had just happened, as if they still do, as if they possibly could. And thus, I create an unattainable reality for myself. Unable to be had, and not possible any longer.
Where are you now? That being I pass by the halls every single day without recognition, I don't know her. I never did. She wanted nothing to do with me. But you, the you I loved, where are you? Are you gone? Frozen in time? But time is not ours, is it? So where are you? Frozen...away. Locked away in my memories? Is that where you'll be now? Forever. Gone from everywhere but there.
But I can't keep on calling them back. The more time goes on, the harder it gets to get to you. I can't keep traveling that far back over and over in my mind. I've almost moved on. If I keep going back, I'll never get to go forward. I'll never get to where I need to be. And that's my life, my journey. I need to get there and you, the you I knew, is now holding me back. You, in my mind, are there. You won't meet me where I am, because you're far back now. I can't keep coming back because I need to find my place in this world, only by progressing.
You aren't letting me progress, you're hindering me. I need to go on, and leave you behind.
You've done it so easily, haven't you? I can see it all the time. It was over and it broke me, I shattered. But that person, that emotionless being, just went on living. That being moved on without me and was fine. The you I knew clung, I know she did. But it's gone. If that being was you, it would have broken, because it let go. It let go but it was fine. That wasn't it! That isn't you!
I can't take going back again. Please, I need to move on somehow. The you that I knew keeps calling me back, but I have to turn my back now. Now, while I'm still a little strong. Now, when I still have some resolve left. I can't sink deeper anymore because you can't save me. The you I knew is powerless and can't get to me anymore. And that being pretends to be you, but it doesn't want anything to do with me. So, I'm sorry, but these goodbyes are final. As much as I hate it, I need to get on with my life. I need to let you go.
And so, so begins another battle in the war I wage to let you go. It's the war I wage with you, the you that I knew that still exists and lives on only in my memories. The you that I knew that is frozen forever and gone, and yet, though immovable, still holds me back.