Old Post from Freshman Year

Part I

I'm a very weak person, especially when it comes to dealing with others.I'm very shy, and it's never been my strong point when it was making new friends.'It's probably the main reason why I refused to ever do anything. If I joined something, it would require me to get to know new people, and I just didnt know how to do that. So I never learned now to play piano, how to skate, how to swim, and I never took drawing lessons, or karate lessons, or singing lessons. I never went out and joined any youth groups or any other things like that either. My mother, however, didnt let me join a school sport either. It was an extracurricular activity, but it didnt require me to make new friends since my school was so small.
High school is such a new environment. There's people everywhere. Someone I don't know is always in front of me. I can't do anything without meeting new people. I went to the library during dance to take yearbook pictures and I made a new friend. I was just in the bathroom with liezl realy early in the morning and met someone new. Heck,I was just standing there on the first day and made a new friend.
The fact is, I can try to be as introverted as I want, but it won't stop me from meeting new people, whether I want to or not. Sometimes even if I'm not aware. There are people in biology that know exactly who I am, and I've never even seen them before! It's pretty nerve wrecking to know that there are people who know you well, and you didnt even know that they existed.
It's not that I hate people, that was never the case. I just have the hardest time ever trying to meet new people and make new friends. I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't have gone to Walnut, so whenever I remember how it was my 2nd choice, I feel insane. But all in all, there's nothing to do no but live.

Part II

I've got a lot of weaknesses with hardly any strengths.I can't swim.I don't go out.I don't really watch movies.I read excessively. I'm not good with people,I'm incriminably shy.Yes, it should be illegal how shy I am.I just can't deal with new people.I thought high school was going to completely destroy,me what with all those people...all older, as well.There's also the fact that I'm so naive.If it isn't in a book, I'm not aware of it basically.Switching classes?That was such an alien concept to me that I didn't want to go to high school at first.Going to a major dance like Homecoming?Also another thing I'd never had experience with.It's hard to be completely thrust out of your shell when you're so used to being in it.I was basically under a rock for most of my childhood,and I didn't think that high school would alter that.But as someone told me,it's time to live life.It's time for you to just get out there and do almost whatever you want for the next 4 years of your life.The 4 irreplaceable years of your life.It's time to not only hit the books,but also live it up,I guess.You can't stay sheltered forever.It's a pretty big leap of faith,but I hope that I can trust those people to catch me if I slip up.I'm just hoping that I can succeed in changing myself for the better and not have any regrets later.Because,in the end, that's all that it can come down to.What you enjoyed having done, and what you regret having not accomplished.