I'm Still Here

Yeah, so where are you ? Look, I know I have been busy and that I have been MIA for a while. And I know that it's not all because of the AP meetings, and the club meetings, and the homework, but also him. Look, I know that most of it is probably my own fault  and I know it will be said i spend too much time with him, but please look...

i do try and make time and i know that it does work out because one of us is still in touch. and i know, given the circumstances, it might be hard with her. but not with me and him right? you guys like him. he gets along with you all well, correct? i just want everyone to come together because you know...my family has never been like that and i kind of don't want my friends to be reciprocating the same vibes. honestly, i am sick of bad vibes that you don't even know.

well, what can we do? what can i do?

i try.

i text you as often as i can and i wait in hope for a response but sometimes it doesn't come, more often than not. i don't know. maybe my phone just doesn't work on you. but everyone else seems to be just fine? i don't know but i don't want to be paranoid or jump to conclusions.

but your calls, i leap at your calls. you have no idea how badly i want to stay informed about everything going on with you. you have no idea how badly how i want to hold only that thread of "best friend" in your life. and you have no idea how badly i feel like i am doing a crappy A job at it right now. i want to fix it. but it's kind of hard to try to be fixing this on my way. i really don't want it to break.

i'm kind of sick of the breaking, you know how it's gone. we aren't going to do that. we aren't, we just aren't..