Why Not Smile For a Change?

That happened fast. I've been lifted out of such a bad mood into such a light mood so quickly. Who knew that it was possible to go from both ends of the emotional spectrum so quickly and all it could take was just one person? 

Yesterday, yesterday was simply horrible. It was insanely monstrous. I came home wailing. Honestly, who does that? I mean, how pathetic is that? To just sob and scream and not know what the heck you're doing anymore. I was so disgusted with myself. I just didn't know what to do anymore. Stupid thoughts? Go away, I've got reasons to stay where I am. Reasons that I just can't hurt anymore than I had in the past. It makes me cry just thinking about the pain I could cause, but I'm not much of a monster.

I hate worrying him to the point where he drops everything he's doing at practice and calls. I love it when he calls but I just hate being a burden to him. I hate worrying him, I'm always ashamed to be worrying him. He gave me something to look forward to since he said he'd visit the day after.

Semi-rough morning until Mom left and Angelyn trudged with her. I didn't want to focus on any of them anymore and just get ready since he'd visit. I told Dad he'd only be there for 15 minutes but Chris ended up staying for about an hour. We just sat in his car and talked for the whole time. After he left, I was instantly put in a good mood and i didn't want to spend the rest of the day moping around the house. So, I decided to hit up Camille's house after Dad's dentist appointment. So I brought her Taco Bell and then Rodrigo ended up coming over,too.  Somehow, watching those two dance it out and just mess around put me in an even better mood.

Dad picked me up and then we went to ST. Lorenzo's to get a paper, home to turn on a light, Michael's for a poster board, Seafood for Lotto, and Fresh and Easy to buy Tilapia that I didn't end up cooking. My good mood evaporated when we got home the same time Mom and Angelyn did and Dad slammed the door on his way out. it didn't help that Mom started questioning me like I was her spy either. But what can be done? 

Well, I am off to St. Lorenzo's tomorrow, how's THAT for a good way to end this weekend? I want to smile, I really really do.