Crushed

I've never quite had a Christmas like this. Well, what shall we call it? Don't get me wrong, I'm ...appreciative. Normally, I'd be in a good mood by now. I'd be in a good mood starting November when we'd Christmas shop and the tree and lights are up by October. But this year is different. The new apartment is cramped and we haven't cleared up or decorated. I kind of miss having the house all pretty and being able to spread cheer to everyone.

But consider it,most people are gone. The people Lola broke her spirits for were terrible and they're all gone from the picture. We don't have to worry about them anymore but it's kind of quiet now.
No time to clean or decorate.

Dear,dear,dear. There's only one thing I want for Christmas : I just want my first date with him. Seriously, we've been together for three months but my parents still haven't let me out on one freaking date. Monday, Monday was supposed to be our day. But no :( even worse, my alternatives got shot only to later be revived too late just to spite me. Sorry if this sounds rude, but why do parents do that? Dangle what you want in front of you and say no only to later bring up why didn't you pursue it and try to clear their name by saying yes now when it's too late? Or they like to mock and tease and ask you why you're so sad when they know full well that it's because of what they said no to? Why are they so mean at times?

All I want for Christmas is that date. Don't buy me anything. All I want is that. It'll mean so much to me. It'll show that my parents finally trust me and that they're accepting that I'm not a little kid anymore. And it'll show that they've really accepted the fact that he and I are legitimate, because I feel that mom has really hasn't gotten to embrace that fact of my life yet.

Please,please,please. I've been so depressed ever since Monday about it. Tonight, asking mom again and the negative prospects of rain kind of made me cry. I want this so badly. I've used so many sad faces :( this week.