Time Doesn't Stop

One of the things that I knew but never really realized was that time doesn't stop. Although it might seem obvious, it isn't always so lucid in concept. Growing up,time always seemed to lag. Summers were terribly long and hot, and the school dragged on in such a bore. As time wore on and I began to get older, I noticed patterns. They were regular patterns that anyone else may have become adapted to, but it took me a while to understand them. The start of the year starts when I awake from staying up all night drinking cider and waiting for the new year. Afterwards comes birthdays and then the start of summer.Sweltering heat and then another school year. My birthday and then Christmas. The entire cycle would repeat, but time would not.

8th grade sped up just a bit, but there was still enough time to enjoy the year. But it was around then that I began to feel time catching up to me. I wanted to hold onto the memories I'd made and not lose them. But the summer flew by, as did the freshman year.

The first day of school:homeroom.That was when it all started, but I was just too blind to see it. I didn't take notice of him, since I was still so concerned about the first day. And the first semester wore on as I worked hard to establish myself again. I was concerned about nothing else but work.
And then it happened. Christamas Dance Concert: December 14th. We were rehearding the dance concert in its entirety once more before show time. It was the country one, and I sat with Liezl and Hannah and Karisa on the bleachers that faced the seminar room and girls locker room. I looked up, and there he was. Red sweater and just looking over the ledge by himself in front of the seminar room. Was he waiting for the rest of choir to get there so that he could practice in the seminar room for intermission? Or was he actually here to watch the show? I didn't know, all I knew was "Whoa,dang."

After our practice, choir had a practice of their own. And yet, I lost it! I could have done something, and yet I forgot his presence. True,I may have watched for a bit, but I didn't really pay close attention to my realization. As I finally got to admitting to it to only three people, it felt like something I'd never done before. I made plans, I tried to do something to formally meet him. I tried very hard to not just watch him walk by. But anything that I tried didn't work. I was too shy and too scared to try to follow it out. As always, I didn't have the nerve to do anything. So, one of my oldest friends who knew him well gave me a shove in the right direction.

It really was a shove, since I didn't do anything. She called him over and told him to wait. Unknown to me, she called me over, and then brought me to him. I was so scared, and it was the hardest thing that I ever had to do unprepared. But afterwards, I felt such a rush! And it felt good to have finally done something. There are experiences and close encounters that I can recap on later,but the main thing is, I had so much time back then...and I wasted a lot of it because of my fear.

Because I was a shy person,I hid after that, but was thrilled when he was the one to greet me. It wasn't until loooonnnnggg after that I was the one who was greeting first, I guess he got tired,maybe? But the time's trickling now, it went from 80,down to around 40, and then 20, and now it's at the 9 day mark if I'm not mistaken. Time is going by very quickly, but I want to make the most of it. I can't stop it, and I can't go back, which means that I'll just have to make do with what I have. It's not a lot, but it also isn't a little. Maybe it'll be just enough.